Enduring The Imagination

It's a sad, sad day...

2008-11-05T05:40:00.005-06:00

I have been trying to shake this cold/flu for the past several days, so again, I went to bed early last night. My son called at 10:30 PM to let me know that McCain has conceded and the news sources are all claiming that Obama has won. I was hoping that by the time I woke up, the REST of the ballots would be counted.

What a terrible thing to wake up to... President-elect Obama. Well, our country is going to get what they want. GOD help us all.

Edited to add: I went to the doctor today, and I have strep... yes, STREP! I am on antibiotics, so I am hoping that I will be back in the loop in a few days. This is SO not the time to get sick.

4-years ago, I met this amazing man…

2008-10-20T16:17:00.011-05:00

Well, since I seem to be running a week behind lately, I have to admit that I am adding this dedication to my sweet fiancé, Marty-san, a week late…’tis better now then never!

Out of all the long-term relationships that I have experienced in my lifetime, this courtship that I have had with one good man, Marty, has simply been the most amazing 4-years of my life.

What can I say about him that you don’t already know?

Here are a few words that I have thought off the top of my head that can help describe him: GOD-fearing, GOD-loving, honorable, honest, kind, dedicated, warm, tender, loving, caring, patient, loyal, encouraging, literal, practical, analytical, quiet, studious, remarkable, and the smartest man I know.

SONG ON MY MIND: These are exactly the types of adjectives that make my heart swell with happiness. I had been looking for him all of my life!!! Thank you, Lord, for being so good to me!

ALL MY LIFE – K-Ci and JoJo

I will never find another love
Sweeter than you... sweeter than you
And I will never find another love
More precious than you... more precious than you

Honey you are...
Close to me, you’re like my mother
Close to me, you’re like my father
Close to me, you’re like my sister
Close to me, you’re like my brother
You are the only one... my everything
And for you this song I sing

(chorus)
And all my life... I've prayed for someone like you
And I thank GOD... that I, that I finally found you
For all my life... I've prayed for someone like you
And I hope that you feel the same way, too
Yes, I pray that you do love me, too

I said, you're all that I'm thinking of

Said I promise to never fall in love... with a stranger
You're all I'm thinking of... I praise the Lord above
For sending me your love... I cherish every hug
I really looove you...

(bridge)
You're all that I ever known...
When you smile on my face... all I see is a glow
You turn my life around... you picked me up when I was down

Garage sale...

2008-10-12T21:39:00.003-05:00

In the past, I have sure enjoyed going to garage sales and rummaging through other people's unwanted items. I do NOT enjoy giving a garage sale. The last time I gave one was... well, 17-years ago when I was going through a divorce. It was no fun then, and it isn't any fun today.

I have been spending the last week cleaning my garage out. I didn't have a lot of items in there, but what was in there was covered with years of dirt since I rarely close my garage door (the mechanism had been broken). I purchased a power washer last week, and I could not believe how dirty the garage floor was - YUCK! It did get up a lot of greasy stains from my boy's old clunkers, but it'll get better when I power wash it again. Brandon and I sealed the driveway yesterday (Saturday) so the driveway looks great!

Today I have been cleaning out my boy's bedroom (my baby birds only took what they wanted when they flew the coup!) *looking around* *shaking head*

I think the sheer volume of items that I have collected over all these 17-years is one of the main reasons why I dislike it so much. Part of it is saying good-bye to memories associated with certain toys or books and such that I have enjoyed with the boys. The other part of it is that it's just a lot of work moving items away from the house.

The ONLY good thing about this garage sale is that it really feels like a fresh start, again, for me... but this time, it's a fresh start and a new life with my best friend!

Wedding Date...

2008-10-11T21:41:00.008-05:00

I am very happy to announce that Marty and I will be married on Sunday, November 16, 2008, at Union Primitive Baptist Church immediately after worship service. I know it's a long way for my dear family, church family and friends to go all the way to Georgia, but if you can, we would be so very happy to have you there to witness our great joy!

By the way, Marty and I are combining 2-households, so we really don't need anything! Please, please, PLEASE, don't get us anything... a much coveted gift for us would be your prayers, and of course, to see your smiling face!

With much love...

Marty and I are engaged to be married!!!

2008-10-03T19:28:00.005-05:00

I still can hardly believe that he proposed to me... I keep pinching myself to make sure that I'm not dreaming! Marty proposed to me on Saturday, September 27, 2008! Thanks be to GOD for such a wonderful blessing... I am honored to be Marty's wife! *humbled* *thankful*

I'll keep you informed of the developments.

I'm sorry it took so long to update this blog; it's been a long time!

Happy Birthday, Youngest Son!!!

2007-02-25T19:03:00.000-06:00

Happy 20th Birthday, my dear!!!
(My 2nd Godsend!)

2nd call from youngest son!

2007-02-10T21:50:00.000-06:00

While I was driving home from work on Thursday evening, and while I was heading to Missouri to fill up my gas tank, I received a call from Mr. Aaron! The connection from Lackland AFB was, again, very poor, so I had to pull over on 270 and put my finger in my other ear just so I could hear him! Anyway, I'm sorry I am just getting my remarks put on here. (I also got a letter from him earlier in the week, so this has been an awesome week for me!)

Aaron is still doing well! He has 3 weeks left, and he is trying VERY HARD not to get recycled. When you mess up, you run the risk of going back to the very beginning of your training. If that happens, than of course, his graduation date gets pulled back! He's trying to avoid this since he knows that many of us has already purchased our plane tickets for the first of March!

He said that many of his fellow soldiers are being recycled, so he is pushing himself hard to not make any mistakes! (Please pray for him!)

I had to update the address on the prior post because I, again, made a mistake!!! He told me that every time that he gets a letter that has his information wrong, he has to do 20 push-ups (per letter!) Goodness!

He also said that he hates making his bed! The specifics that they want him to make it, he says, is next to impossible, but he is getting it done! It has to be pulled very tight.

Again, because he is underweight, he gets to eat more than the other guys there, AND they make him drink a can of Ensure between meals. He says that he is eating everything on his plate, yet the poor guy still isn't gaining any weight; BUT he does feel stronger, which is a good thing! I wish I had the problem of a highly efficient metabolism!!!

He is also going to church, which makes me very happy! He said that it's like a vacation to go to church! *grin*

He does NOT like PT (physical training) and he's aching terribly - poor, little guy!!!

Of course, you know he said he misses his computer big time! *laughing* I am not surprised he said that! Oh, also he said that when the other guys were reading their letters from home, many were crying. I asked him if he was homesick, and he said no, not really! He said that he thinks maybe it's because I am not making my letters to him sad enough! *shaking head and laughing*

Next week he gets to go through "warrior week" and that's where they do their obstacle courses. I think he said that he was looking forward to it!

Anyway, he seems like he is happy and healthy, and I know he is glad that he has gone through it. He also said he is thankful and very happy to receive your mail of encouragement! I am also very thankful to all of you who are taking the time to encouraging him! You have no idea how much that means to me! (((hugs)))

19 more days until I get to hug and kiss him again!!!

Good-bye to my friend...

2007-02-10T21:27:00.001-06:00

Today I had to say a sad good-bye to my lovely friend and colleague, Shirley Hanes. Thankfully, GOD rescued her from the fierce battle she had with Pulmonary Fibrosis. What a beautiful, beautiful person she was. *sigh* She always made me smile. Some words that always comes to mind when I think of her: elegent, lovely, captivating, hilarious, warm, dignity... good friend

It was great to see her devoted husband, Charlie, and her daughter and grand-children and niece. It was also wonderful to see my colleagues who she loved so much. Please keep this family up in prayer.

SONG ON MY MIND: My friend was such a strong believer in Christ. I know she would have approved of this song. This song is so beautiful and always gave me hope; I am so happy that Shirley is now in GOD's loving embrace and free from the horrible suffering she endured.

HOLDING OUT FOR GRACE - Michael Tait

I believe...
I believe in who You are
And when You speak...
I hear You deep inside my heart
It's more of You I want
So take me back to the start
Show me the bigger part...

I know there's so much more to life
So won't You open up my eyes

I want to see...

(chorus)
And I, I'm falling on my face
I'm holding out for Grace
Send Your Spirit down
Illuminate this place, my Lord...

My Love, My peace
Without You... I'm incomplete

And in my time of need
I know You're watching over me
And I can't wait to lose myself in Your embrace
You're my hiding place...

I know there's so much more to life
So won't You meet me here tonight

I want to see...

(chorus)
And I, I'm falling on my face
I'm holding out for Grace
Send Your Spirit down
Illuminate this place...
Let Your kingdom come
Heal the broken ones
Father shine Your Light
...on Your daughters and Your sons

In my mind, there's a battle going on and on... for my life
But this time I'm gonna give You everything I have... inside

GOD our GOD how beautiful You are...

I just got my first call from Aaron!

2007-01-21T18:33:00.000-06:00

Aaron just called me and quickly gave me his address:

A B Bryant, Aaron D
322 TRS/FLT 188 (Dorm A-10)
PSC #4
1015 Truemper St, Unit 364071
Lackland AFB, TX 78236-6040

He couldn't talk and had to get off the phone quickly, so we couldn't talk. He did said that he's doing well, and that it isn't as bad as he thought it was going to be! (YAY!!!) He is looking forward to any letters or cards... so I better get crackin! Don't hesitate to send your thoughts and encouragement, too! =)

02.09.07 - Aaron called last night again - YAAY!!! I am updating this again because the first line is wrong! Aaron said that every time the address is wrong, they make him do 20 push-ups (for each letter!) *giggle* He said it doesn't hurt anything, however, for his comfort, I am correcting the address once more!

01.30.07 - I just updated this because I misunderstood Aaron when he gave me his address. It's TRS not TRF. I just got some correspondence from him regarding parking at the AFB, and there it was! Sorry!

They grow fast, don't they?

2007-01-21T17:08:00.001-06:00

Okay, it's only been 3 days since my youngest son, Aaron, has technically been in the Air Force, so I have to put some pictures up now before he sees them. He can't complain now, because he doesn't have Internet access. (hehe!)

By the way, Brandon and I are doing well. We're staying busy... but we do miss him a lot. It's strangely quiet around here.

How do they go from this...

...to this so fast?! Where did the time go?

This is Jeremy (one of Aaron's best friends) and Aaron!

See? Aaron was the sweetest, plumpest, little thing! It's hard to believe he was even remotely plump, because he is so lean now. In the hospital, I couldn't get over those huge, kissable dimples after he was born! Of course, he didn't laugh or anything, but when he yawned, they were there to my delight! Also, when Aaron slept, he would spontaneously grin, and those gorgeous dimples would often re-appear!

Aaron inherited those fantastic dimples from my Aunt Kathy and Aunt Jeanne! Of course, keeping it all in the family, my Dad, David, also has them (no picture because he wasn't there, so you'll have to take my word for it!) I will also give credit to my late Grandma Helen and late Grandpa Ted for passing them down plus the great smile!

Here's Aaron with my Uncle Bill. Uncle Bill is married to my Aunt Kathy! Uncle Bill was the one who roasted Mr. Aaron and prayed for GOD's blessings for him on Saturday! It was just awesome!

This is my sister, Kristina, Aaron, Ken (Kristina's husband), Anna (niece) and Frankie (nephew). Lovely, lovely family...

Here's my oldest son, Brandon! And right next to him, there's Aunt Jeanne, Anna, Frankie, my baby sister Jan, and Brother-in-law, Kenny!

Here's my brother Jeff and Aaron! Jeff, bless his heart! We use to fight like cats and dogs... but the joke was on me! GOD put Jeff in my life so I could prepare for Aaron! They are twins even though Aaron doesn't want me to say that. Aaron IS his own person, yes, but there is no denying it... Aaron's mannerisms, dry sense of humor, attitude, and even his talk... it's almost exactly like Jeff. Okay, so when Jeff was younger, I would say they sort of look like each other, too. Oh boy, Aaron's going to be so upset with me! Oh well... he's in San Antonio! (nya nya!)

Here's my handsome oldest son, Brandon, playing around with my cutie-pie niece, Anna!

Yes, it's a shocker! Aaron and I actually got up in front of everyone, and I even said a few words. Even though I actually have the ability to stand up in front of others, you have absolutely NO idea how long it took me to mentally prepare for this...

Here's a partial view of all the great folks who were there on Saturday as they were listening to Uncle Bill roast my Aaron good! (((hugs))) Thanks so much for braving the treacherous weather and being there for Aaron!

Oh, my heart...

2007-01-15T23:21:00.001-06:00

I have come to the realization that when children grow up and move on, it's almost like a second birth; it feels as though that my doctor is cutting the umbilical cord... again.

I have tried all day to be strong; even until the end, I didn't cry. I didn't think I had anything left in me. I didn't want him to see me all messed up, and I didn't want Brandon to see me like that, either. It was very hard to watch Brandon get emotional. I knew he loved Aaron, even though they often irritate each other to the point that they can't stand each other. They have been buds for a long time now, and they have come to rely on each other.

Now, it's as though I just can't turn this ache off. Last night was tough. I stayed up to watch Forrest Gump with Aaron; just like old times, he layed in front of me, so I could rub his back. It was so sweet... but afterwards, I couldn't drift off to sleep because the tears just wouldn't stop. It's been a long day, it seems.

I didn't think his moving on was going to be so hard. I am going to continue to pray that tomorrow will be easier.

SONG ON MY MIND: There are so many songs that remind me of Aaron. We enjoy so many songs together only because he knows that what he enjoys I probably will enjoy, too. He knows me too well! DC Talk is just one of those groups that we ended up both being passionate about, and if it wasn't for him, I might not have loved them as much as I do now. We have listened to this song thousands of times, and for some reason, this is just one of those songs I wanted to hear tonight.

FEARLESS - DC Talk

Haunted by a jaded past
Never thought that love could last
Hope was but a castaway at sea

Skepticism took it’s toll
Closed the windows to my soul
Was fighting just to keep my sanity

When out of the noise I could hear You breathing
You came along knowing just what I needed
Turned me around, and You got me believing
You would die for me...

(chorus)
Now I’m fearless... with nothing left to hide
All the doubts of yesterday, love has driven them away
And now I’m fearless... when I am by Your side
It’s forever me and You in this covenant of truth
You know I’m fearless... oh, yeah

Patiently You stripped away
The walls of pride that I had raised
You revealed the child inside of me

We will run and not grow old
Soar on wings as I’ve been told
Together we will fly the heavenlies

Cause out of the noise I could hear You breathing
You came along knowing just what I needed
Turned me around, and You got me believing
I would die for You

Some of us leave the vine
Some of us fall in line
All of us have a friend in Jesus
Some of us live in fear
Some of us persevere
Knowing that You are near me, I am fearless...

David Bowie turns 60 today...

2007-01-08T20:39:00.000-06:00

I have often wondered where my fascination with David Bowie lies. Was it mainly his deep, rich, haunting voice or was it the unusual music and nonsensical lyrics? Or was it just the entire bold, cool, unique and complicated package?

I literally have been following this man's career since I first heard of him when I was around 11-years old. I can't believe this musical journey has taken me through 30 years of unmatched fascination.

My first memories were of hearing his song FAME while I was swimming at the local pool in the summer. At this point, I wasn't even aware of his Ziggy persona. I remembered, soon after, catching a very mysterious performance of him while I was watching him on the Sonny and Cher show, and I was captivated.

About that same time, I was totally in love with the squeeky clean and always good, Donny Osmond. Leif Garrett and Shaun Cassidy were just NEVER good enough. Donny was the the best singer PERIOD! Donny's posters graced my walls like nobody else did (well other than Andy Gibb!) It is funny to think about it now, but in a way, David Bowie was the antithesis of Donny Osmond, and I was entranced with both the good and the bad.

In my teens, I was obsessed with a lot of different styles of music, but I was hopelessly obsessed with David Bowie's music style. I would call our local radio stations and ask about certain songs that I had heard, but I didn't even know the names of the songs yet. I would sing to them what I thought I heard.

With money that I saved from babysitting, I would foolishly spend it on David Bowie albums and magazines. As I played his music over and over again with a freakish ferver, I committed each old and new song to memory. In my desperate attempt to find any kind of news relating to Bowie, I would go to our local Farm Fresh store and stand there for hours and hours in front of their magazine rack and pour over their magazines. I am willing to bet that the owners didn't like me much...

I was driving my family crazy with my eclectic taste in music (they can tell you stories!) and I know my close friends, at times, must have thought I had lost my mind. I was lost somewhere between the layers of harmony, saxophone, haunting vibrato, electronica, soul, folk, melodrama, punk, falsettos, violins, glam, heavy metal, piano, ying and yang, lyrics, and much of his work in minor keys... I'm not sure exactly what it is or why I had identified so closely with his music; the complex combination of it all just resonated very strongly within me. The impact of his music helped me lessen the toxic pain and void in my life.

Since then, I have studied a lot of who and what David Bowie is. We share a few things in common:

A feeling of isolation, being different and set apart
Because mental illness run in our families, I often wondered if I sympathize with him.
A vivid and creative imagination
A voracious love of music

Regardless of who or what he is, thankfully, I am really nothing like him. I don't think we are on the same side politically or religiously. I am a steretypical introvert, and he's a gregarious and fearless extrovert. The idea that I would want to change or to be in front of people, just for attention, just seems totally abnormal to me. Still, I admire and respect him, and he is the one person that I would really, REALLY want to meet and talk with. Only one word really sums up what I think of him: fascinating

Bowie never seemed to think on the terms of mainstream. Even though he was married and had a child (Duncan) in the 70s, at that time, he actually admitted to the world that he was gay. One would think that he might have admitted this to promote himself, however it was well-documented that he was an openly gay, drug addicted, and a very lost man. For his and his children's sake, I am thankful to GOD that he has turned his life around. He is happily married to supermodel, Iman, and admits that he is strictly heterosexual by choice. They have a beautiful little girl, Alexandria.

If I hear anyone say that gay people don't make choices to be gay, all I have to do is point to David Bowie. He had made that choice.

Anyway, happy 60th birthday, David! I still think you are THE BOMB!

SONG ON MY MIND: There are many songs that I could put on here that I love, but here's a simple song that was made back in the early 70s that's actually a cover song from the Merseys. I don't have any recent songs on mp3s. If I do find something, I'll add it on here... until then, please enjoy a little of his older stuff with me.

SORROW - The Merseys (cover by David Bowie)

With your long, blonde hair and your eyes of blue
The only thing I ever got from you was sorrow... sorrow

You're acting funny trying to spend my money
You're out there playing your high-class games of sorrow... sorrow

You never do what you know you oughta
Something tells me you're a devil's daughter
Sorrow... sorrow

I tried to find her 'cause I can't resist her
I never knew just how much I missed her
Sorrow... sorrow

Purchase Bowie merchandise HERE!

Happy New Year!

2007-01-01T11:02:00.000-06:00

I hope everyone had a safe and enjoyable New Year's Eve, and I hope 2007 is a wonderful, prosperous year for you! I love you, all! Sandy =)

Psalms 31:24 Be of good courage, and he shall strengthen your heart, all ye that hope in the LORD.

President Abraham Lincoln...

2006-12-31T08:01:00.000-06:00

Marty left yesterday to go back to Atlanta. It's always so bittersweet when he leaves. I want him to go back to his family and fellow church members because they really need him back there, and I want him to get there safely. However, despite it all, I already begin to miss him terribly when he pulls away from the house... thankfully, he arrived home safely!

Yesterday was also our 2-year anniversary of our first meeting! I can't believe it has been 2-years!

In honor of both of these strong and amazing INTPs (Abe and Marty!), on Saturday, we spent the day by visiting the President Abraham Lincoln's Museum in Springfield, and what a extraordinary museum it was! The holograms, the Gettysburg Address AND the handwritten Emancipation Proclamation, the artifacts, the interactive theatres, we poured through every part of this museum. It was a wondrous and very humbling experience that I will not soon forget.

Because we were really running out of time, we zipped through the presidential library and headed to view his quaint home, just blocks away, that he and his family shared while he was a lawyer. Before the darkness took over, we headed to visit his tomb. We didn't get to go inside due to the late hour, but we did marvel at the beautiful structure.

We witnessed 3 wonderfully educational yet sobering shows at the museum. The trials this amazing man endured was staggering. My favorite show was a heart-breaking and emotional one called "Lincoln's Eyes"; the 2nd very moving show was called "The Civil War in 4-Minutes"; the last was called "Ghosts of the Library". Here's a REVIEW I found on the Internet from someone that explains this awe-inspired journey much better than I could have, and like him, this exceeded all of my expectations!

SONG ON MY MIND: After witnessing this museum and the unbelievable loss this country faced because of the Civil War, the song I have added, BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPUBLIC, seemed fitting for this particular blog. This particular song was made in 2001 and is sang by the Harmony Plains Singers on the CD called Triumphal Feast with Marty Smith singing the solo...

BATTLE HYMN OF THE REPULIC - Julia W. Howe

Mine eyes have seen the glory of the coming of the Lord
He is trampling out the vintage where the grapes of wrath are stored
He hath loosed the fateful lightning of His terrible swift sword
His truth is marching on...

(chorus)
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
Glory! Glory! Hallelujah!
His truth is marching on...

I have seen Him in the watch fires of a hundred circling camps
They have builded Him an altar in the evening dews and damps
I can read His righteous sentence by the dim and flaring lamps
His day is marching on...

He has sounded forth the trumpet that shall never sound retreat
He is sifting out the hearts of men before His judgment seat
Oh, be swift, my soul, to answer Him! be jubilant, my feet
Our GOD is marching on...

In the beauty of the lilies CHRIST was born across the sea
With a glory in His bosom that transfigures you and me
As He died to make men holy, let us die to make men free
While GOD is marching on...

Happy Birthday, Jesus!

2006-12-24T20:45:00.000-06:00

Well, like I said, it's the night before Christmas. My ceramic tree is burning pretty in the next room, and my candles are in the windows. My boys are at their Dad's house, and all is well and peaceful here in this Autumn-feeling night.

I am relaxing here at my computer, and I am feeling very thankful to GOD for everything He has done for me - the lessons... the joys... everything! I am so grateful for my family and friends. I am thankful to Him sending CHRIST JESUS to this Earth for all of us who do not deserve Him and His Grace.

SONG ON MY MIND: One of my very FAVORITE Christmas songs EVER, is a song written by Mark Lowry and composed by Buddy Greene. It doesn't matter how many times I hear this song, this song moves me to tears... it's SO beautiful! This song is sung with so much feeling, I just love it. *sigh* There are many versions of this song, however this is my favorite.

MARY, DID YOU KNOW - Mark Lowry and Buddy Greene

Mary, did you know... that your baby boy
Would one day walk on water?

Mary, did you know... that your baby boy
Would save our sons and daughters?

Did you know... that your baby boy
Has come to make you new?
This child that you deliver... will soon deliver you.

Mary, did you know... that your baby boy
Would give sight to a blind man?

Mary, did you know... that your baby boy
Would calm a storm with His hands?

Did you know... that your baby boy
Has walked where angels trod?

And when you kissed your little baby...
You kissed the face of GOD...

The blind will see... the deaf will hear,
And the dead will live again

The lame will leap... the dumb will speak
The praises of the Lamb

Mary, did you know... that your baby boy
Is Lord of all creation?

Mary, did you know... that your baby boy
Would one day rule the nations?

Did you know... that your baby boy
Was heaven's perfect Lamb?

This sleeping child you're holding...
Is the GREAT I AM...

Watch the video HERE!
You can purchase Buddy Greene items HERE!
You can purchase Mark Lowry items HERE!
You can purchase the Gaither Family items HERE!

Today is... what?

2006-12-24T20:38:00.000-06:00

Hi Everyone! I'm sorry I haven't posted in a while. I haven't had any time to really enjoy anyone's blogs and post on my own mainly because of the holidays and everything that goes into preparing for successful holidays. The other big distraction was due to the ice storm clean-up at work. I'm tired of overtime.

Here it is... the night before Christmas; the boys are at their Dad's house, and I am alone. I actually feel like I can relax now. I may even go to bed early tonight.

The Imposter...

2006-12-04T21:42:00.001-06:00

Okay, it's time to talk about the 3rd element of one of my favorite groups of all time - Kevin Smith AKA Kevin Max. I am not sure exactly what it is about him, but Kevin is someone I sort of identify with.

I tend to see and hear Kevin as dark, complex, unusual... someone not mainstream... someone on the outside. These types of descriptions in an artist always intrigues me. These descriptions probably fits my line of thinking, because personally, I always consider myself outside of the mainstream as well.

I do know that we have similar, eclectic taste in music styles, and to me, of the 3 DC Talk members, with Kevin's most unusual voice, he has the most range. Even with their last CD together, I've noticed that he brought to their music a certain middle-eastern sound, which also strikes a chord within me for some reason.

As much as I enjoy each singer/songwriter in their own right, in my experience, their own individual style pales in comparison to when they combine each of their strengths. To me, their collaboration is magic...

SONG ON MY MIND: So far, I have enjoyed each song from Kevin's newest CD called The Imposter. HERE's a better review...

FADE TO RED - Kevin Max

Scriptural References: Rev. 6:12-13 & 22:1-3, Joel 2:28-32, Acts 2:14-21

(bridge)
And we want everything to end
Just like Nostradamus said
Everything is left for dead
...fade to red

In the gust...of the wind...on your back...in your gut...in the tracks...of your mind
This is how it ends
Everywhere there's hope
There is oblivion

And we want everything to end
Just like Moses said
Everything that is parted then
...will fade to red

In the crest...of a wave...on the fields...of a plain...in a faraway land
It's all the same
Even when there's love
There is also hate

(chorus)
And when the sun breaks through the dark
We know were close to it... close to it
And when the sun shines through my heart
I know I am close to it... close to it

From the words of a mystic monk...to a drunk...on the edge...of a nightmare
So it is
Everywhere there's joy
There is also dread

From the throne...of a militant king...with the wings...of the fallen
As they start to sing
Inside I am just like you

These are all of the words that were formed before the blood
after the flood, feel the hand of love,
...and sing the song of songs from up above

To purchase this fantastic CD, please go HERE!
Kevin is also on MYSPACE!

Mebee I need 2 go bak 2 skule...

2006-11-30T19:24:00.000-06:00

Okay, just one more goofy quiz... !!!

Aww... I am one of those who never get an A+ (waah!) Plus, I totally guessed a few of these, so maybe I need to do some more "schooling". *scratching head*

You paid attention during 86% of high school!

85-100% You must be an autodidact, because American high schools don't get scores that high! Good show, old chap!

Do you deserve your high school diploma?
Create a Quiz

What kind of person do I attract?!

2006-11-30T19:17:00.000-06:00

Well, this explains some things... JUST KIDDING!!! HAHA! (This doesn't explain my ex-husband! Only GOD can explain that one...) *rolling eyes*

Okay, I'm done! (This was fun, though!)

What type of person do you attract? Your Result: You attract geeks! Your stunning intellect and love of sci-fi and video games allures the geeks like nothing else. Maybe it is the sparkle in your eye that makes them want to text you, who knows. Geeks make good partners, but tend to be arguementative. If you are a TRUE geek magnet, you will know if that was spelled correctly, and actually care. If it is a bad-boy/bad-girl you are seeking, you are barking up the wrong tree, unless they are just 'bad' behind a PS2 console.
You attract rednecks!
You attract unstable people!
You attract artsy people!
You attract Yuppies!
You attract models!
What type of person do you attract? Quizzes for MySpace

I know I am, but what are you?

2006-11-30T19:04:00.000-06:00

Yes, I am THE original grammar snob! *victory dance* WOOHOO! (hehe!)

Your Language Arts Grade: 100%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?
Make a Quiz

I'm a Midlander-er...

2006-11-30T18:30:00.000-06:00

Ahh... they have me pegged! I have been told before that I have a voice for radio! (That is if I don't stammer all over myself!) hehe! I thought this was pretty cool! So... what kind of accent do YOU have? Hmm?! Do you say "cawfee" or "coffee"?

What American accent do you have? Your Result: The Midland "You have a Midland accent" is just another way of saying "you don't have an accent." You probably are from the Midland (Pennsylvania, southern Ohio, southern Indiana, southern Illinois, and Missouri) but then for all we know you could be from Florida or Charleston or one of those big southern cities like Atlanta or Dallas. You have a good voice for TV and radio.
The West
Boston
North Central
The Inland North
The South
Philadelphia
The Northeast
What American accent do you have? Take More Quizzes

Noteworthy...

2006-11-26T08:57:00.000-06:00

During my convalescence, I have been enjoying a CD Brother Marty sent to me (thank you!) of his lovely, 2nd oldest daughter's collegiate a cappella group called Noteworthy. This is their first CD!

Maggie Smith (3rd from the right/back row) attends the University of Georgia and is an accomplished singer/songwriter in her own right. You can enjoy her very own lovely songs on her MySpace site. I am hoping she and these young ladies don't mind me showcasing a couple of their songs on this blog, well, because I think they are awesome!

SONG ON MY MIND: This first song I would like to share, Maggie is singing a solo to one of my very favorite female singers EVER... Sarah McLachlan (YAY!) If you think you hear any instruments, you are wrong! This CD is sung completely a cappella, and I am impressed!

This song always makes me ache, because I think at some point or another, we can relate; we have all messed up royally (the school of hard knocks), and unfortunately, sometimes you cannot go back. All you can do is pray for grace from GOD, learn from your mistakes, and pray that those you hurt through your trials forgives you (and you can forgive them if they hurt you).

FALLEN - Sarah McLachlan

Heaven bend to take my hand
...And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
...To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I tried my best
...But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
But the cost was so much more than I could bear

(chorus)
Though I've tried
...I've fallen
I have sunk so low
...I messed up
Better I should know...
So don't come round here
...And tell me I told you so

We all begin out with good intent
...When love is raw and young
We believe that we can change ourselves
...The past can be undone

But we carry on our back the burdens
...Time always reveals
In the lonely light of morning
In the wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
...I've held so dear

Heaven bend to take my hand
...I've nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to these I thought were friends
...To everyone I know

Oh, they turn their heads embarrassed
...Pretend that they don't see
That it's one mis-step
...One slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

To purchase Sarah McLachlan's CDs, go HERE!
To purchase Noteworthy's new CD, "99 Problems, But a Pitch Ain't One", please go HERE!
This CD was produced by James Gammon.
Noteworthy also has a MySpace site, if you want to hear more!

Love and encouragement to those who need it...

2006-11-18T09:21:00.001-06:00

I can't imagine the pain of losing a little one. I don't want to imagine it. I once had a dream about losing my oldest son, Brandon, when he was just a toddler, and to this day, it's painful to think about it.

But for now, with much sorrow in my heart, I just want to wrap my arms around the parents who must be grieving with the whole of their hearts now. GOD's grace will be with you, and I pray that there is great comfort knowing that we are journeying towards a better place.

SONG ON MY MIND: This song was the first song that comes to mind when I think of losing someone you love. We have lost many loved ones lately, so this song is for the many folks who are struggling with loss.

I'LL BE THERE - Escape Club

Over mountains
Over trees
Over oceans
Over seas
Across the deserts...
I'll be there

In a whisper on the wind
On the smile of a new friend
Just think of me...
And I'll be there

(chorus)
Don't be afraid... oh, my love
I'll be watching you from above
And I'd give all the world tonight
...To be with you
'Cause I'm on your side
And I still care
I may have died...
But I've gone nowhere
Just think of me...
And I'll be there

On the edge of a waking dream...
Over rivers
Over streams
Through wind and rain...
I'll be there

Across the wide and open sky
Thousands of miles I'd fly
...To be with you
I'll be there

In the breath of a wind that sighs
Oh, there's no need to cry...

Just think of me...
And I'll be there

Beautiful picture taken by Feather3 from Wunderground.com

My response to Strem's blog "Delaying Marriage"...

2006-11-12T16:59:00.000-06:00

I just finished the transcript of a radio program from familylife.com regarding a father's advice to singles, which would be: What are you waiting for? Get married!

I read this transcript because my good friend, Sister Michelle, questioned in her blog why so many Christians delay marriage or continue to stay single. You can read her blog about delaying marriage HERE.

Because I got married at the age of 19, had delivered 2 children by the age of 22, and then was a divorced, working mother by the age of 25, I will give my perspective to why I think people choose to stay single and when I think is a good time for young folks to marry.

First of all, in this day and age, I don't think many men want the responsibilities of being a father and husband anymore. They also want to play on their own terms. Why would a man want to be a responsible husband and hands-on father when they have girlfriends here and there who are willing to have sex? Many liberated woman act like they don't need husbands anymore either and can easily play the role of mother/father. I know we are talking about Christian men here, but I know many "Christian" men like I know a lot of "Christian" women who fit this description.

Now for the Christian men who remain chaste yet they want to remain single, I really do believe that many are just afraid to go to that next step searching for a good woman, and here are some of my thoughts:

With so many families being torn apart by divorce (their own families or friends), I'm sure that many young men have been discouraged, and to many of them, it's not even worth taking that risk financially or emotionally.

Many men don't feel ready financially to take care of a wife and a family. Sadly, many would rather have their cars and their play-toys.

I believe feminism has many men worried about their choices for a mate, so for them, the path of least resistence is to not choose a mate. Many men do not want a strong, opinionated, independent woman who they will have to argue with or will criticise them, so the woman with strong opinions may be automatically excluded.

Also, I believe many men have high expectations and would want to marry a woman with the qualities of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31 but are having problems finding one just like her. If the single man's mother was domineering, they want a meek and gentle, family-oriented woman. If his mother is a perfect "Beaver Cleaver" mother, than he is expecting his potential mate to be like her. Most women are not perfect, and it takes time to develop qualities of this virtuous woman. How do you know unless you get married? Some men don't even want to chance it.

I believe, nowadays, that men want a woman with perfect looks and body. It's hard not to think otherwise because the media bombards men with this "ideal" woman: slim, beautiful... perfect. Anything below their superficial expectations may get men to thinking that there is a better woman out there for them, so their search continues. Many good women get overlooked because of these unrealistic expectations.

What makes me sad is that on both sides, if you don't get what you want, the easiest remedy is to get a divorce. *sheepishly raising hand* I am guilty as charged. I tried hard, yet I didn't get my results of a responsible husband/father, so I bailed. I know... shame on me. I wish I was stronger, more mature, and had the patience of Job.

Which gets me to the next question. What is a good age to get married? I thought I was pretty smart at the age of 19, and I thought I could get married, have children and not fail. I thought I had all the answers. (ha!) I am glad I got married and had children earlier rather than later, because it took every ounce of energy and drive to keep everything going between the two and work outside the home. Here at the age of 41... I really don't know if I have the energy to keep that balance going.

By the time I was 25, I was divorced, tired, confused, overworked, overwhelmed, and crying all the time when the boys were asleep. I painfully acknowledged that I didn't know anything, and I failed miserably as a wife and mother. I understood how hard it was to be a parent, and I had a new-found appreciation for my parents (who were also divorced, sick and overwhelmed) To me then, there were no good guidebooks on how to be that good wife/mother. (Saying all this now, I could just kick myself, because I could have faithfully read the Bible to get all the answers. I had at least 2 of them in the house, but I wasn't truly faithful as I needed to be, which makes me sad)

Where I was going with this is... no age is a really good age. I think maturity is the answer. I thought I was mature at the age of 19, but looking back, I really wasn't. At the age of 19, Sister Lydia is WAY more mature and knowledgeable than I was at that time.

In a big way, if a young woman or man is mature for the responsibilities of marriage and being a mother/father, I do think that they should marry early rather than later (I'm hesitant to say, however, from the age 17 and younger) I believe this primarily because I read the chances of women getting pregnant prior to turning 35 decreases dramatically with each year due to the age of their eggs, to hormone levels, or other health issues.

This, I realize, doesn't help a young man want to marry earlier, but it's very important to a woman, especially if she has dreams of being a mother. This will help him, however, from straying sexually.

I also believe Dr. Al Mohler has many good points, especially when it comes to getting set in your ways. Learning to work with a spouse and the demands of raising a family really takes the focus off of "you". That is a good thing.

SONG ON MY MIND: I just thought of this song while I was thinking about this topic. I guess the focus needs to be on finding a good mate; the more important issue, however, is our relationship with GOD.

I BELIEVE - DCTalk

I see the moon, a million stars are out tonight
Gentle reminders of the way... You are
A sea of glass, a raging storm has come to pass
You show Your face in an array... of ways

My feet may venture to the ground
But You will never let me down
I can't hold it in...
My soul is screaming

(chorus)
Hey you, I'm into JESUS
Hey you, I'm into JESUS, oh yeah
Hey you, I'm into JESUS
Hey you, I've seen the Truth... and I believe

I know You're there...
I feel Your love through my despair
You speak the words that ease away... the pain
My heart is free, my eyes are clear
My soul is healed...
Now that You have got a hold on me

I still believe, I still believe
Hey you, this kid is back
And I do declare that the sun is shinning
Hey you, this kid is back
With a red alert, and it might be blinding

One time, one time JESUS bled
On the third day He rose again
Can I get a witness for the things He did?
One time, one time JESUS bled
But then He rose again

Song on my heart...

2006-11-10T11:18:00.000-06:00

As you may can tell from my previous posts, I have been pretty down because of the elections. I have, yet again, forgotten that GOD is in control of everything. I am letting this go, and I will look forward to continuing to push what I know is right.

SONG ON MY MIND: Well, I have had a couple of sweet hymns on my heart, but I happened to watch this beautiful song, FARTHER ALONG, on youtube (Thank you, Melissa!), and now I can't get it out of my head. I just think these girls (The Peasall Sisters) are adorable and their harmonies are beautiful... and this song just makes me so happy! Please watch this video (you might have to double-click this and any other link I have on this site):

FARTHER ALONG - J.R. Baxter and W.B. Stevens

(chorus)
Farther along we'll know all about it
Farther along we'll understand why
Cheer up my brother, live in the sunshine
We'll understand it all by and by

Soon with the Lord our wonderful Savior
We'll be at home beyond the blue sky
There we shall meet the dear ones awaiting
We'll understand it, all by and by

When death has come and taken our loved ones
It leaves our home so lonely and drear
Then do we wonder why others prosper
Living so wicked year after year

Faithful til death, said our loving Master
A few more days to labor and wait
Toils of the road will then seem as nothing
As we sweet through the beautiful gate

Tempted and tried, we're oft made to wonder
Why it should be thus all the day long
While there are others living about us
Never molested, though in the wrong

When we see JESUS, coming in glory
When He comes from His home in the sky
Then we shall meet Him in that bright mansion,
We'll understand it all by and by

GOD help us all...

2006-11-08T06:29:00.001-06:00

Mood: Heavy-hearted

I fell half asleep on my recliner last night feeling kind of peaceful as the election returns were underway. Jim Talent had a 54% lead over Claire McCaskill for the Missouri Senate, and the good people in Missouri were saying NO to the embryonic stem cell constitution amendment by a very slim margin of 1%.

I unfortunately woke up to the disturbing picture of Claire McCaskill thanking everyone for their support and thanking the Missouri folks for their vote of confidence. What?! I couldn't believe my eyes. She won. Also, the ticker at the bottom of the screen showed that the embryonic stem cell amendment was passing. There were still 13% of the returns that needed to be counted, however, the news was pretty dim; the city vote hadn't been totally counted yet, so there was little hope that their votes would make a difference.

I moved over to the bed praying that when I woke up this morning that things would be brighter, but no. I woke up to the sad fact that the amendment passed, Claire's in control, and Blag is still in office. I wasn't surprised about Blago, but still... I just feel sick all over.

On top of that, last night the news was also stating that Nanco Pelosi won, and Rick Santorum was defeated. What a tremendous loss. Lieberman won as the Independent, however, so there was some good news. The Democrats, however, are in control of the House. I hope we can hang in there in the Senate.

The people have voted: They continue to want abortion-on-demand (up to the birth of the child). They are also willing to try cloning (a constitutionally protected cloning, mind you) and want to offer same-sex marriage... and they'll get what they want.

SONG ON MY MIND: I'm just upset... this song just came to my mind. I'm sad for our country. At this point for me, if it is His will, I hope the end comes soon, because it seems to me that we are quickly spiraling out of control.

THE RED - Chevelle

They say freak...
When you're singled out
The red...
Well, it filters through

(chorus)
So lay down
The threat is real
When his sight
Goes red again

Seeing red again
Seeing red again

This change...
He won't contain
Slip away...
To clear your mind
When asked...
What made it show
The truth...
He can't send to most

Don't forget to VOTE this Tuesday...

2006-11-05T09:06:00.000-06:00

I just thought I'd remind you folks: the election is THIS TUESDAY!

Vote NO on Amendment 2...

2006-10-31T23:28:00.000-06:00

One week from today, Missouri voters are being asked to vote on an initiative called Amendment 2. The embryonic stem cell issue is heating up.

After studying the amendment and reading the pros and cons, I am convinced that there is some creative writing going on here, and this amendment will leave much room for interpretation, which could lead to some very crafty loopholes.

Here are two good articles (article 1) and (article 2) that describes why I do NOT agree with this initiative. I am asking folks to not totally buy into embryonic stem cell research until you have read up on it.

I can understand the emotional firestorm stem cell research has opened up. I am not totally unsympathetic to it, as I want cures to be found with this research.

I'm sorry Michael J. Fox has Parkinson's disease. I hope a cure opens up for him, but not at the expense of human embryos. At the same time, I believe it's wrong to mislead citizens to thinking that the only way to find cures to illnesses is by looking at embryonic stem cells. This is leading folks down the wrong path. Adult cord blood is also stem cell, and there is research that shows that this is just as good or even better. I believe this is where the "private" research should continue. Our tax dollars should NOT make it a constitutional right to pay for embryonic stem cell research, because the language loopholes could eventually lead to cloning. Yes, cloning!

For those who are voting in Missouri next Tuesday, please watch this video that should give everyone pause to what we are voting for, to what this is actually about, and WHY you should NOT vote for it.

We are unfortunately riding the slippery slope of misinformation, and I urge each voter in Missouri to not buy into the proponent's play on emotions. Don't get sucked into the celebrity factor. Be informed...

We must not play GOD.

To a land where joy will never end...

2006-10-30T22:07:00.000-06:00

Dear Miss Lydia... now I have this song stuck in my head, and now it just won't walk away quietly! I am hoping to infect y'all with this great tune! I'll put "Nothing But The Blood" for Miss Tressa another time! =)

SONG ON MY MIND: Sister Lydia, bless her heart! She allowed me to peek into this CD from Jars of Clay. So far, I am loving it! The songs are different from what we sing at church, but they are all very enjoyable to sing to. This is a blessing to me, and the praises to God makes me happy! Thank you for sharing this with me!

I'LL FLY AWAY - Jars Of Clay

(chorus)
I'll fly away, oh glory, I'll fly away
When I die, hallelujah by and by, I'll fly away

Some bright morning when this life is o'er, I'll fly away
To a lands on GOD's celestial shore, I'll fly away

When the shadows of this life have grown, I'll fly away
Like a bird from these prison walls, I’ll fly, I'll fly away

Oh, how glad and happy when we meet, I'll fly away
No more cold iron shackles on my feet, I'll fly away

Just a few more weary days and then, I'll fly away
To a land where joy will never end, I'll fly away

Purchase your copy of this CD HERE!

Here kitty-kitty...

2006-10-30T22:06:00.000-06:00

Cats are just so funny! *snort* I could watch cat videos all day long!
It's too bad that I am so allergic to them, because I want one so badly! *meow*

Puppies are just so adorable! (It's too bad I am allergic to them, too!)
WAAH! I want him! Look, he's smiling!

I'm so deprived...

Don't forget to "fall-back" tonight...

2006-10-28T13:56:00.000-05:00

Mood: Tired

Daylight Savings time ends tonight to those of us who are forced to practice it. If I had it my way, I would keep the Daylight Savings time year-around. You crazy kids in Arizona are lucky to not have to mess with the practice!

Don't forget to "fall-back" one-hour tonight at 2:00 AM. It seems to me the only benefit of reverting back is: One can get one more hour of sleep... YAAY!

Starting next year, there will be some changes to this practice. You can see them here along with some very interesting facts. *yawn*

Congratulations to the St. Louis Cardinals...

2006-10-27T22:50:00.000-05:00

Mood: Ecstatic!

Wow! What can I say other than what an amazing game! What an amazing series!!! I think each player did such a great job, and each one of them really showed their strengths.

David Eckstein is an awesome batter, fielder, and just an amazing player; he deserves the MVP! Good for him!

Yadier Molina... He really stepped up, and I am so proud of him; he's our new hero! Jeff Weaver and Adam Wainwright were both just awesome!

My only beef is... I wish Belliard would just keep his freaky tongue in his mouth and Duncan would keep that nasty and disgusting chew in his mouth. They both are redeemed only because they played pretty good. Other than that, BOTH OF THEM JUST GROSS ME OUT!!!

My hat is off to the Detroit Tigers - even with the errors, they did an awesome job. I truly felt sorry for very young, obviously nervous, Justin Verlander. I think in time, he'll mature to be a fantastic pitcher. Brandon Inge is an all-around, all-amazing player. I love watching him play. Sean Casey is awesome... just awesome! They all are really great players! Thumbs down to Kenny Rodgers who is 41-years old and should know better. Nobody respects a liar.

Congratulations to Tony LaRussa and Jim Leyland; they are both the epitome of class. Thanks to my Mom, who is never a fair-weather fan (like some of us are!) She loves her St. Louis Cardinals and always believes they are going to win. This win should be for you, Mom!

Edited: I wanted to add that the only way this game could have been better would have been if the legendary Jack Buck would have announced this; I sure miss his voice and his enthusiasm.

Happy birthday, dear Anna...

2006-10-25T11:18:00.000-05:00

Mood: Reminiscent and happy *lighting candles*

Today is Anna-Maria's 41st Birthday... She finally caught up with us all! YAAY! Yes, technically you will ALWAYS be younger than us... but you aren't running too far behind! You share a birthday with another retiree friend of mine from work, Bob (Happy Birthday, Bob! *waving*)

Anna (Buzz) is a dear, dear friend of mine, who I will ALWAYS consider one of my "bestest" friends. Staci (Space), another dear friend of mine, introduced Anna to me back when we were... 13? I'll never forget it either. While I was swimming, she and Space pulled up on their bicycles to the Roxana Pool, and she was in a tube top and shorts. She immediately reminded me of Rosanna-Rosanna Danna of Saturday Night Live because of her thick, long, wild hair! She just finished St. Bernards and was going to be transferred to Roxana Jr. High. She was pretty and very sweet, and we got very close during our Jr. and Sr. High school years.

Even though we don't talk anywhere near the amount that I would like to now, which is practically nothing, it's not because I don't want to. It's nice when we do, because we pick up right up where we left off last. Know that you are always in my thoughts.

Thank you, Anna, for all the fun and wild times you have showed me. Thank you so much for being friends with me. If it wasn't for you and Staci, I truly think I would have gone crazy, considering the kinds of things I was facing as a dorky teenager in a very unstable home. Thank you for all of our macaroni and cheese pig-out fests that we had at your house. I still get "fluh" thinking about it! Thank you for walking with me everywhere in our "tennie treads"! Thank you for letting me experiment on you by perming and chopping your hair, which verified to me that I would never be a good beautician. Thank you and Staci for helping me swap out the front windshield of my Mom's Maverick after... umm... ahem... Staci wrecked it going to Sumner's party. (No, I'll never let you forget that, Space!) It was my fault, because I let you drive it when you didn't have your license yet. We sure were a bunch of awkward, goofy 16-year olds, weren't we?) HA!

The weird thing is that, while we were always dreaming about our future boyfriends/husbands, I had always hoped that when we all got married, we could possibly live next door to each other and watch each other's children grow up. It's sad to me that we never made that happen. It's even more sad to me that we hardly keep in touch. I can blame a number of things, but it doesn't matter. Over the years, I haven't been a very good friend to you or Staci, and I am sorry about that. I hope you will forgive me in time. Grandma told me that this was going to happen, and I didn't believe her at the time. In fact, I got quite upset at her and told her that she was unequivocally wrong, and that we were "bestest" friends, and what right did she have to say something so awful to me? *head hanging in shame* She was right, and I was just being my usual ignorant self with my skewed rose-colored-glasses. *sigh* I hope she has since forgiven me, God rest her beautiful soul.

I still hope that maybe we can all retire close by each other so we can enjoy each other's grandchildren. Is it possible? I know you loathe Illinois, but I think you could stand Georgia! It's beautiful... I swear! =)

Dear, dear Anna. Happy 41st Birthday, and GOD bless! I hope all of your birthdays are sweet and that you and your hubby, Levi, and Sarah, have fun tonight! I don't know if Greggory or Anthony are there or are in Illinois, but I hope they are helping you celebrate. I miss you...

With much love...
Spuz

Edited: Adding to view Anna & Scott's auto repair business -->>HERE!

Horrifying dream...

2006-10-25T05:04:00.000-05:00

Mood: Uneasy feeling, disconcerting fear

I know I shouldn't be fearful of dreams. Thankfully, I don't normally have many ominous dreams, however, just a little while ago, I woke up to a horrible nightmare that involved apparitions, and it included my loved ones from home and from church. I don't want to go into it, but know that it felt absolutely real. *shudder* I am hopeful that this dream will go away in time, even though the memory of it feels like it's seared in; it left me pale and feeling weak. Thankfully, Brother Marty (GOD bless you!) was able to calm me down and pray for me, and what a comfort that is to me. If this is evil attacking me, I ask everyone to please pray for me.

The calm inside me...

2006-10-21T09:06:00.001-05:00

As I read the lyrics below from the striking Sarah McLachlan, I am reminded about how much this song from her debut "Fumbling Towards Ecstasy" CD reminds me of the way I have felt all of my life. This song and much of her music defines me. It's hard to explain.

I love the vivid imagery Sarah creates in her lyrics. When I am listening to her music, it wouldn't be unusual to see me close my eyes and get caught up in the loveliness of her music and her hauntingly unique and passionate voice.

GOD has given this elegant and free-spirited artist a rare gift. She is truly a talented singer/songwriter and an equally gifted musician. Here's the video that started my whole journey with this beautiful artist. Here's a more recent video that speaks about my life.

SONG ON MY MIND: This song, ELSEWHERE, is just one of many, many songs that I have enjoyed from Sarah. I hope you enjoy this song and video.

ELSEWHERE - Sarah McLachlan

I love the time and in between
The calm inside me...
In the space where I can breathe
I believe there is a distance I have wandered
To touch upon the years of...
Reaching out... and reaching in
Holding out... holding in

(chorus)
I believe...
This is heaven to no one else... but me
And I’ll defend it as long as
I can be... left here to linger in silence
If I choose to
Would you try to understand?

I know this love is passing time
Passing through like liquid and...
I'm drunk in my desire
But I love the way you smile at me
I love the way your hands reach out...
And hold me near...

I do believe...

Oh, the quiet child awaits the day when she can break free
The mold that clings like desperation
Mother, can’t you see...
I’ve got to live my life
The way I feel is right for me?
Might not be right for you, but it’s right for me... Ooh

Would you understand it?
Would you try?

You can purchase her music here.

Let the supernatural take hold...

2006-10-16T00:24:00.001-05:00

Okay, so I have featured Michael Tait and Toby McKeehan. At some point, I will feature Kevin Max, but until then, I would like to recognize one of the most influencial Christian bands that I have ever had the good fortune to be exposed to.

Back on October 1, 2006, I explained how my youngest son was quite the fan of DCTalk, and somehow, he just knew that I would love this type of music. He knows me all too well!

Since then, I have to rank them right up there with my all-time favorite artists, David Bowie and Tal Bachman. Their heart-felt harmonies and beautiful lyrics just take my breath away. You may sometimes catch me awashed in peaceful bliss as I am listening to them. I wish their "intermission" would finish soon, so they could get back to writing. When they are together, it's magic!

SONG ON MY MIND: This song, RED LETTERS, from DCTalk means so much to me. The very FIRST time I heard it... I fell in love. When I was ever down, this song would lift me up and my heart would just sing with joy!

RED LETTERS - DCTalk

Pages... filled with a holy message
Sealed with a kiss from heaven
On a scroll long ago...
Phrases... words that were bound together
Now have the power to sever
Like a sword evermore...

Heed the words divinely spoken
May your restless heart be broken
Let the supernatural take hold...

(chorus)
There is love... in the red letters
There is truth... in the red letters
There is hope for the hopeless...
Peace and forgiveness...
There is life... in the red letters
In the red letters...

One Man... came to reveal a mystery
Changing the course of history
Made the claim he was God...
Ageless... born of a Virgin Mary
Spoke with a voice that carried
through the years
It's persevered...

(bridge)
What You say... moves me
Revelation... Come and take me
The more I look [the more I look]
The more I see [the more I see]
The Word of God [the Word of God]
Is what I need

Oh yeah, it's the book of love

Speak to me, breathe in me new life
Let Him in your heart

You can purchase their music here.

It's been 2-years ago today or Sunday

2006-10-13T07:17:00.000-05:00

It's very strange; My email that I downloaded from CM says the 15th, however my email notes state that it was the 13th. Whichever date it was, it's been 2 lovely years now since we have been formally introduced, and what a wonderful 2-years it has been!

I'll never forget that first sweet email I received from Brother Marty. He didn't know me, but he read my profile on CM. My profile was enough for him to send me a few sentences of encouragement, and thus starting one of the sweetest friendships I have ever known.

I would like to publically declare my thanks to this wonderful man:

Thank you so much, my dearest Marty, for being a great friend to me. Thank you for listening to me during my good times and bad. Thank you for spending the time, opening up, and sharing your heart with me. Thank you for sharing your life with me and allowing me to get to know your family. Thank you for teaching me GOD'S word and helping me make sense of it. Thank you for leading me to CHRIST. Thank you for introducing me to all of my PB family and helping me find my church. Thank you for your words of wisdom and honesty. Even though you hate talking on the phone, thank you for spending SO much time on it for me! Thank you for all of your great emails. Thank you for the long walks, long swims, long drives and sharing the love of nature with me. Thank you for all your sweet affections. Thank you for sharing my passion for music, singing, spreadsheets, dreams and the beautiful skies. Thank you for all of your wonderfully corny jokes, word games, possible inventions, genius, good laughs, and for your great sense of humor.

Thank you for giving me the greatest gift ever - your time.

Even though you are physically so far away, your memories linger here with me inside of my heart every minute of every day. I can't wait to see you next!

This INFP loves my INTP with all my

May GOD always richly bless you...

Dedicated to Smarty...

2006-10-13T07:16:00.001-05:00

I can't say enough about this gifted Canadian's music. I was once literally obsessed with Tal Bachman's self-titled first CD... 2-years worth of listening to his music night and day. Day and night. I know my boys hate this CD only because I subjected them to this so-called torture practically every minute of their waking hours. If I wasn't listening and singing to the CD at home, I was listening and singing to it in the car. If was I wasn't listening and singing to it in the car, I was listening and singing to it at work. Seriously.

You might know Tal's music because he had an awesome song out back in 1999 called SHE'S SO HIGH. This song is the reason why I purchased this CD to begin with, however I had no idea how this album would affect me - nearly every song on it is just... wonderful! BESIDE YOU is one of those all-out, great, romantic love songs that I could listen to over and over and over again... it reminds me of my tender relationship with Brother Marty.

SONG ON MY MIND: This song that I am sharing with you is a sweet, sweet song. I am dedicating this to Marty for our treasured 2-years together.

BESIDE YOU - Tal Bachman

Throughout the passing years...
As all the world seems ever-changing
We share the smiles and tears...
Of life... with love that's so far ranging

(chorus)
And after all is said and done...
I'll be the one... beside you
I'll be your love and loyal friend...
Until the end... beside you

Each flower bends with time...
Each leaf descends with every autumn
But you and I will find...
Our love won't die or be forgotten

When you and I are grey...
When youth has gone... and life is dimming
I promise that I'll stay...
Beside you... like we were beginning

My recent email...

2006-10-10T06:01:00.000-05:00

Since there is going to be a lot of news coverage regarding the possible lay-offs and very real instability of our company, I'll keep you all informed of the situation when I hear more. Whatever the outcome of MY job situation, I just wanted to emphasize to everyone that EVERYTHING is going to be okay. I know that GOD has always been there for me and supported me by having this job. This job helped me provide for my boys when they were growing up, and I am thankful I had it. Now that they are young men, and they have jobs of their own, I am not scared like I use to be. They can provide for themselves now, and my job is done.

I am concerned that others are going to be worried about me, so please don't! I am not worried about this at all. I always knew that this job wasn't my life's purpose anyway. I also know that am in good hands...

I Peter 5:7
Casting all your care upon HIM; for HE careth for you.

GOD is SO good... right, Sister Teresa? =)
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
FYI - This is not just going to be happening to us. All regulated electric/gas utilities in the Illinois area will be affected. Read to review: 10/09/06 news release, and FAQ, and our site regarding post 2006

Michael Madigen is shooting himself in the foot. When this all plays out, and the dominos fall where they may, he will have a huge fall-out, because this is not just going to affect employees. On top of that, bankruptcy touches many businesses as well as retiree's pensions. That's okay, because he is going to get what he wished for. I, for one, won't feel sorry for him.

Atmosphere...

2006-10-09T15:46:00.000-05:00

Okay, it's time for a new song. I'm sure you are all tired of LOVE MY WAY. Maybe not, but oh well, it's time for a new song.

This song is from a former DCTalk member named TobyMac. He was the hip-hop member of the group. Actually, this particular song is from TobyMac's latest CD, however all 3 DCTalk members are singing on it, so it's almost as if this is a DCTalk song! They all have myspace accounts now! For guys my age, they are all pretty hip (not like me, who DOESN'T WANT a myspace account!) Take a look at Toby McKeehan, Kevin Max and the wonderful Michael Tait's cool digs!

Normally I don't like rap. I like rap ONLY whenever there is also singing present. I also like rock-n-rap. This is a beautiful song to me. I hope you enjoy it as much as I do. You can purchase this CD here!

SONG ON MY MIND: This song came to mind whenever I added my list of those to be prayerful over. There are so many who need our prayers, as life can be so challenging in so many ways. I'll always try to keep this list up-to-date. Let me know if you would like me to add someone's name on there, as I would always want to be mindful of those who need God's comfort.

ATMOSPHERE - Toby McKeehan, of DCTalk

I know you keep a journal… And every page is rippled
From the tears that you cry… Ain't no meaning to your scribble

Cause words can't describe… what you've been feeling inside
It's like thousand foot walls… and they're still on the rise

But look up… to a beautiful sound
And see for yourself… you're not that far down

And know this… I can not love a little
My promise to you is unconditional

And I'll keep the light on… for you
Just keep the course… you can weather the storm

I'll keep the light on… for you
You've come this far... don't you ever lose heart, now

(chorus)
Just turn around… and I'll be there
I'm moving into your atmosphere

I know you're all alone in a crowd full of friends
I can see it in your eyes… that you’re fading again

Checking out… moving into your hole
Where the light can't touch… any part of your soul

But hold up… and let the river rush in
You can turn around… and start living again

Cause your life… is a beautiful bloom
In the image of the One... that created you

I'll be there…

Said I'll be there, said I'll be there
Said I'll be there… always, forever

A bug caught me...

2006-10-09T13:16:00.000-05:00

I originally thought I was having allergy spells, but I realize that last night I caught a cold, or should I say, it caught me. I haven't had a cold in a while, and last night, with my nose running like a sieve and me coughing and sneezing my head off, I didn't think I was ever going to sleep. I was lucky, however, to have a couple of hours.

I cannot take antihistimines, because I get an allergic reaction to it when I take it. I get gout in my thumb when I take antihistimines. It's the strangest thing... the skin on my thumb actually falls off to the point that I don't have a fingerprint. The rawness of my thumb, with the skin peeled off, hurts terribly. I hope to never experience that ever again.

After I ate last night, I did take a couple of zinc lozenges, so I am hopeful that will help me some. In the meantime, I am going to rest and read. Hmmm... I wonder if I have any chicken soup in the pantry. I think I am going to make some hot green tea, too. Maybe I can get Brandon to run and get me some Vitamin C enriched OJ before he goes into work.

So that I don't infect my co-workers, I took off work today. At some point, I am going to try to get connected to my workdesk from my youngest son's computer. I have been unable to connect there since my computer crashed.

Between this and some other health issues I am going through, please keep me in your prayers. Thank you...

Fashion mis-step...

2006-10-08T14:30:00.000-05:00

Aye carumba! A senior moment. I experienced one today! It's LEATHER that, or I am the queen of dorks! I inadvertently tried to make a fashion statement at church, and I truly wasn't trying to SHOE off! Instead of being a fashion plate, I made a HEEL of myself. I could just KICK myself! Anyway, I imagine you know what this is SOLE about now... I've only done this twice in my life. TOE times is enough for me! It's all so POINTED, but it is what it is.

My dear sister, Jan, did this last year... so I imagine she will know right away! The last time I did this (several years ago), I had to RUN to a meeting from home, and my colleague had witnessed me in this sad condition. He CALFed so hard, I thought he was going to wet his pants! He can laugh and RUN over me when I retire.

I just have EGG all over my face. Oh wait, that's another blog. Sorry 'bout that!

Totally undone...

2006-10-08T08:22:00.000-05:00

I have a pretty, little neighbor, about my age, who lives right next door to me. She has twin teenage daughters and a son about my oldest son's age. This woman never talks to me. When I see her out at Wal-Mart or just anywhere, I always say, "Hi!" to her. She always looks down and pretends that I don't exist. I know she can hear me, because I say it loud enough and smile (like I always do).

I have been at this residence for 11-years now. She and her now former husband were there in the neighborhood before me. The older woman who lived here before I purchased the house had told another neighbor next to me a story about them. This younger woman's husband pulled up her metal fence one year, because he was building a deck in the back, and... well, he didn't ask this older woman if he could. This was HER fence! He then proceeded to build a look-out tower for the kids, and that encroached on her property. Because her husband was ill, and she was busy taking care of him, this older woman didn't say anything. After her husband died, she just chose not to say anything because she knew she was going to move away at some point.

Yes, I am getting to my point! This is my issue: Last week, I DO remember my neighbor mowing the grass in the back. She is a petite and pretty little thing, and I had never seen her mow the grass before; her son has always had done it (or her husband at that time). I shrugged it off, and I got in my car to go... somewhere; I can't remember now.

When I came back, I noticed that my taller grass had a line cut out of it from my driveway, and it went clear to her yard. I didn't think of anything at that point other than, "Goodness, the boys need to mow this grass!"

Well, I said something to my youngest son. I asked him if he had planned to mow the grass, and why didn't he finish the yard (referencing to the line of mowed grass in our yard). He said that he didn't mow the grass, but he will that day. Again, I shrugged it off.

Later that day, youngest son told me that the tank was almost empty, and that he thinks that my neighbor used our lawnmower (without asking!) I was... shocked, to say the least. Hello? Hello?! Bueller?! It made sense, though. It looks as though someone started the lawnmower at our driveway, and then cut clear across our yard, and then mowed the next door neighbor's lawn! The whole thing didn't register with me until we talked about it (Okay, so I'm kinda slow...!)

I had already decided that I won't say anything to my neighbor, and that I will keep my garage close from now on. If I think about it, I'll try to lock the back garage door, too. It is just so inconvenient to do so. Brother Marty confirmed my thoughts on this matter, thankfully. Basically, I decided that she must have really needed the mower... maybe theirs broke down, or maybe they didn't have the money to get gas in their own mower. I would like to give her the benefit of the doubt. But the fact that she didn't ASK me was the weird thing.

The last time I spoke with this woman was... 11-years ago! I was the new homeowner and neighbor. She brought me into her home to show me her newly renovated home. I never did have an issue with her, but soon afterwards, she just ignored me like I was invisible. Her kids do me the same way, too. It's just very bizarre. It use to bother me, because I wondered if I had offended her in some way. Now it doesn't bother me. She just doesn't want to speak to me; I can deal with that. Worse things could happen!

I did ask one of her teenage daughters, recently, after that last major storm in July, if everyone was okay. She said they all were, and that her Mom was coming home from work soon. I was relieved that they were okay... and that she could actually see me.

Anyway, I was just wondering if anyone else had an experience like this, and if they did, how did they handle it? Should I have handled this differently? Should I have confronted her and state, "Listen woman, next time you need to borrow something, ask me first!" ?! I am looking forward to all of your answers.

Like Aaron stated, "At least she could have started the lawnmower in her yard; we would have never known!"

I am just perplexed... I just can't imagine being so bold. *scratching head*

Musically, I'm all over the board today...

2006-10-07T15:37:00.000-05:00

Today I have not been getting a lot of things done, as I have been listening to a lot of David Bowie, Kenny Wayne... Stone Temple Pilots and now Psychedelic Furs. I'm all over the board today. Everything just seems really interesting to me, and I sure love YouTube. This site just helps satiate my music cravings. If you haven't had a chance to look at any videos from there, please feel free to see my YouTube. I have started adding quite a bit of video clips that I had collected over the years.

I have enjoyed the 80's English band Psychedelic Furs, with their classical 80's pop-sound, from the very beginning. Okay, maybe not the VERY beginning, as I was only 13 when they started out. But when MTV came aboard, I was totally intrigued with Richard Butler's singing. He is not the best singer, but I think he is an interesting vocalist...very distinctive. Of course, if you haven't realized yet, I also have a fascination for Indie music. He and his brother, Tim, and guitarist, John Ashton, are the heart and soul of Psychedelic Furs.

When Richard Butler and his group disbanded, he started a new group called Love Spit Love. Strange name, I know! Anyway, their music ROCKED! I was sad to see that group break up after only 2 CDs. LSL's guitarist, Richard Fortus, is from St. Louis!

The only good thing was that after 10-years, the Psychedelic Furs came back, and I was fortunate to see them LIVE at the Pageant in St. Louis 04/28/01 - YAY!!!

Here are some of the interesting clips I have been watching:

LOVE MY WAY - Psychedelic Furs (This started it all!)
ALL THAT MONEY WANTS - Psychedelic Furs
CHANGE IN THE WEATHER - Love Spit Love
WAKE UP - Love Spit Love

If you are thinking abour purchasing anything from the Psychedelic Furs, please visit this site!

And she turns 40...

2006-10-06T11:27:00.000-05:00

My cousin, Tina, who lives in Nashville, TN, turns 40 today! It's hard to believe that she (and my sister, Kristina-san, who just turned 40 in September), are now in the company of us 40-somethings!

Now I know that there are many folks here that are just still wet behind the ears, but that's okay. You're going to catch-up real soon... I can't believe how fast my time on this earth is going by. Before you know it... a decade will just zipped on by.

I use to think that 40 was old. That's so funny to me now because inside, I feel like I am about... 20-25. I'm sorry to say that my body doesn't look like that, but I sure feel that way.

I'm sorry, Tina, that I don't keep in touch with you like I should. I am not a very good cousin. I will try to do better in the future. In fact, all of my cousins... I want to try to do better about keeping in touch. I know that this is not a good enough excuse, but life just sort of gets in the way of what I really want, and I am really sorry about that.

In the meantime, Tina Marie, please have fun today... Reminisce of all the good times in your life, and know that you have a lot of family and friends who love you. I pray that God continues to shower you with many, MANY enjoyable days/weeks/months/years.

Speaking of which...

2006-10-06T06:37:00.000-05:00

I changed the song so we can hear the beautiful voice of Josh Groban... I'm sorry I only seem to be adding songs on here that are sad. I don't mean to, but they seem to be the ones that are on my mind. Also you might notice that I enjoy posting the lyrics while I am listening to the song. The lyrics to me are like poetry... I just enjoy them so much. This song just fills me with sadness, because it speaks of regrets and longing.

Here's a little personal story to back-up this song:

Again, years ago, my youngest son, Aaron, got me loving the group Linkin Park because he played their CDs a lot. They are a rap/rock, angst-filled group, and if you know me well, you know that I just sort of like that kind of thing! Anyway, so here he came up to me and told me that on their new CD, there was this great song called MY DECEMBER and I HAD to listen to it. He was right - I loved it!

So you can imagine how I felt when I heard that Josh Groban covered this song... I actually enjoy Josh's rendition better.

SONG ON MY MIND: Even though this song doesn't have anything to do with the seasons, this song always makes me think of Aaron. He prefers the cold of Winter, whereas I enjoy the warmth of Summer. However I do enjoy and prefer the crisp, cold weather of Autumn.

MY DECEMBER - Mike Shinoda of Linkin Park
This is my December...
This is my time of the year
This is my December...
This is all so clear

This is my December...
This is my snow-covered home
This is my December...
This is me alone

And I...
(whispering)
just wish that I didn't feel
like there was something I missed

And I...
(whispering)
Take back all the things I said
to make you feel like that

(chorus)
And I... give it all away
Just to have somewhere to go to
Give it all away...
To have someone to come home to

This is my December...
These are my snow-covered dreams
This is me pretending...
This is all I need

Because Kristina loves his music...

2006-10-04T23:01:00.000-05:00

My dear sister, Kristina-san, loves Josh Groban's beautiful voice, and I totally understand the power the music has over her. I think after all of these years, she may now possibly understand the powerfully intoxicating draw that certain music has had over me all of my life. Music has been a lifelong obsession for me.

So in honor to her, I am adding the lovely song she led me to tonight on this blog. Enjoy!

To hear his most recent song, click on the following link and then click on the picture of Josh -- You Are Loved (Don't Give Up)

Click here if you would like to order his new CD, which comes out November 7, 2006!

I'm not interested in his excuses...

2006-10-03T21:38:00.000-05:00

EDITORIAL: After years of denying that he was a gay man and after sending inappropriate emails and IMs to teenage congressional pages, Former Republican Representative Mark Foley now states that he is gay and that he was molested by a member of his clergy when he was a teenager.

This and an alcohol addiction apparently explains his behavior. *shaking head* Why do I care that he has an explanation? Believe me I don't. He made a monster of a mistake, and other than the best thing he could have done: pray to God for strength to break out of his cycle of sin... he did the next best thing: resign from his position and hopefully start making amends. I sure don't know if he prayed or plans to make amends, but I hope he does.

Personally, I think he is rationalizing an excuse by claiming that he's an alcoholic, because he is hoping that people will sympathize with him and excuse his rotten behavior. I don't care who did what to him as a youngster; whatever "they" did does not justify what he did. He chose to drink. He chose to make sexual advances towards young, teenage boys. Everything is a choice.

In such a position of power, I am disgusted to read about Mark Foley's behavior, and it was also such a shock to hear of his hypocritical co-chair position for the missing and exploited children law. Sin comes in many colors, and its true colors are deceit.

Now I get to sit back and watch the liberals come out with their hypocritical stance. I don't care if he's a Republican or a Democrat. All adults should be held accountable when it comes to preying on our young.

Sacred Harp singing...

2006-10-03T00:28:00.000-05:00

Well, tonight was the 2nd time I have ever participated in shaped-note a cappella singing, and it was amazing! We went to a house in St. Louis, which belongs to a husband and wife team who also sings a cappella. In the back of their home, they had built an awesome singing room... wood floors and vaulted wood ceiling. The music was bouncing everywhere, and the acoustics was perfect!

I brought my friend, Carolyn, and her daughters, Amber and Amy. She knew she was going to witness an a cappella group, but she didn't realize that she was going to participate in it! She just misunderstood me, but oh well... I think she and her daughters enjoyed it.

This is just one more thing to thank Sister Michelle. Thank you SO much for getting us all into this shaped-note singing! This has been just an amazing experience for me!

Here's a shaped-note song to click on and enjoy!

SONG ON MY MIND: Here's another song from Michael Tait. It's heartbreakingly sad, but it is also SO beautiful.

HEARTACHE
Half of you has been taken
The other half... is barely holding on
You set a course across the ocean
You had a dream...
And now it’s all but lost

But I want you to know...
I won’t let you go

(chorus)
Oh my heart... aches for you
Oh my heart... breaks for you
Oh my heart... bleeds for you
Whatever may come...
I’ll stand by you

Who you are is amazing
A precious soul... so beautifully made
It hurts to see your life fading
But Heaven knows every tear you’ve cried
Oh yeah...

My heart aches... for you
My heart breaks... for you
My heart bleeds

You are so amazing...
Keep the light from fading

Behind the Song:
"We’ve watched a lot of friends and family members go through absolutely horrific emotional experiences in their lives and this song is just a giant hand of love reaching out to hurting people and saying “You’re not alone. You will make it through this. I’m hurting and breaking for you inside my heart, and I’m here for you.” And God is present in your suffering even you can’t feel Him." - Michael Tait

I have added music...

2006-10-01T22:45:00.000-05:00

I hope this doesn't irritate folks here, but I have set this up so that you can (hopefully) enjoy feature songs that I have grown to love over the years. I promise to be nice and put only good things! The first song feature song is from Michael Tait called FALLEN.

My love for Michael Tait's music was borne from his involvement with a Christian rock group named DC Talk. I had only started listening to DC Talk because my youngest son's love for them. I wasn't a big fan, because I wasn't crazy about the song JESUS FREAK.

I remember years ago, Aaron would practically beg me to listen to these great songs with him; he would tell me that he KNEW I would like them... and he was SO RIGHT! The more I heard him play the music, the more I would just be singing out loud with it! Now both Michael's solo CDs and a big collection of DC Talk fills my favorites. They give me hours and hours of joy.

SONG ON MY MIND: Christian Contemporary song-writer, singer, Michael Tait... If I remember right, I believe this song was in honor of his sister, who had died of an illness.

FALLEN
She's a wreck... fragile and scarred
Life is work and living is hard
She's tired of the pain... tired of the fix
She's tired of the games and the politics

She's running on empty
She wants an alternate ending

(chorus)
And she's falling...
She's falling in love with You
She's so hopeless...
She's hopelessly drawn to You

She can feel... the weight of the past
It drags her down, but she's fighting back
She wants to fly... far away from here
She wants a God that won't disappear

She's all out of chances
She is... looking for answers

The sun is on the rise...
New days coming
You see it in her eyes
She is running... head long into the Light
Let the new day... come

The sun is rising... in her eyes
Hold on, the day will come
Love is waiting... running to the Light
Hold on, the day will come

Behind the Song:
"There are a lot of young girls out there asking, “Do I matter?” This song is about a girl who lost her way and searched everywhere for something to give her life significance. After trying everything else she finds that there is a God who loves her." - Michael Tait

Learning about GG...

2006-09-30T10:30:00.000-05:00

I found out that Great-Grandma Mayfield, Brother Chris's great-grandma, is sometimes called GG by some of her grandchildren. (I'm editing this to state that it wasn't SHE that was called GG, but her daughter's grandchildren who call her her DAUGHTER GG. I'm sorry! I just misunderstood her). I have learned a lot about her late husband, kids, grandchildren, and great grandchildren these past few days, I sure have enjoyed her stories! She sort of reminds me of my late Grandma Helen. I sure miss her.

Despite staying in another place, I sure have slept well! I also have not been walking, so I actually am sleeping in for a change. I woke up at 7:45 AM today (very unusual for me!) I do believe I would have slept longer had I not received a telephone call this morning. I'm glad that I did, though. I am hoping my friend Carolyn will find a lot of good garage sales today and get some good buys. Maybe I'll go with you next time!

While I was at work, GG Mayfield made pumpkin pie yesterday, and she fussed over how this was going to taste, because she didn't have any evaporated milk on hand, but she found some condensed milk. She did have milk in the fridge, so she used that together with the condensed milk. I'm telling you what... that was some good pumpkin pie! It was so good, that's what we had again for breakfast this morning (and coffee, too!)

SONG ON MY MIND: I have had this hymn on my heart for a couple of months now, and today, I just can't get this song out of my head... Here's an AMAZING rendition from the Gaither Family and lead by David Phelps: Hide Thou Me

HIDE THOU ME - Gaither Family
Sometimes I feel discouraged...
And think my life in vain
I'm tempted oft to murmer...
To grumble and complain

But when I think of Jesus...
And what He's done for me
Then I cry, to the Rock of Ages...
Hide thou me

O Rock of Ages...
Hide thou me
There is no other refuge...
None, none but Thee

Through this old world I wandered...
So far, far from Thee
Then I cry, to the Rock of Ages...
Hide thou me

Deal breaker...

2006-09-27T12:13:00.000-05:00

EDITORIAL: After a 20-year contract with Venezuela backed Citgo, 7-Eleven has ended it's ties with Citgo. Apparently there has been a boycott of Citgo gas due to Venezuela's President Hugo Chavez's disgusting comments about our own President Bush a week or so ago. Chavez has really upset a lot of folks, and I am one of them. I do appreciate those efforts of those who boycotted Citgo gas stations, and apparently it did hurt 7-Eleven's bottom line. That's an unfortunate situation, however... due to the pressure, they did something about it, and I am glad for that.

It's a shame we don't have any more 7-Elevens in our area. The closest one we have is in Granite City. When I go that direction, because of 7-Eleven's efforts, I'll always make a special effort to stop and fill 'her up instead of driving on by.

I'm feeling so thankful...

2006-09-27T07:34:00.000-05:00

It's sort of early, but among many things I thank Him for, I always thank God for allowing me to burn the candle at both ends so well. With my advancing age, however, I find that it's getting harder and harder to do so.

Thank you, Sister Michelle, for sparking this blogging in our little PB community. This has been a lot of fun! You always seem to be so imaginative, creative and thoughtful. I have really enjoyed your blogs thus far!

Thank you, my boys, for hearing me out even though I know you are getting tired of my direction. It seems that you are going to be leaving the nest soon and be free from the dictatorship. I want to let you know that there were clear reasons why I pushed and pulled you the way I did, and I thank God every day for allowing me the time that I had with you. I do look forward to hearing about all of your life adventures as you fly from the nest. As hard as this is on my heart, I know the time is drawing close...

Thank you, my sweet family and friends, who have loved me for many years. Without your encouragement, tears and truthful talks, my simple life would have been pure agony.

Thank you, Brother Marty, for leading me to God and paving my way to a wonderful PB church and church family. I know God wanted you to help me better understand the Word and lead me to a better world with my eyes wide open. I can't thank you enough for all that you have done.

After looking over all of my life events, as sad as some of it has been, I know that I was meant to tread the difficult life for a reason. The lessons have made me stronger, and I am SO thankful for knowing this.

Thank you to ALL the people in my life... for being a part of my life.

SONG ON MY MIND: I woke up to this beautiful song...

CREATE IN ME A CLEAN HEART - Terry Talbot
Create in me...
a clean heart, oh God
Let me be like You...
in all my ways

Give me Your strength...
Teach me Your song
Shelter me in...
The shadow of Your wings

For we are Your...
Righteousness
If we die to ourselves...
And live through Your death

We can be born...
Again to be blessed in Your Love

Can't live with it...

2006-09-26T05:47:00.000-05:00

I have such a love/hate relationship with my cell phone. It's not even my own phone but a work phone. I feel like I am permanently attached to the thing, and I continuously irritate myself because I leave it everywhere. I have lost this thing so many times, I cannot even keep track anymore.

I lose it mostly at home, but I have left it in shopping carts a number of times. When I lose it, than I wish I had it so I can call the store to see if I had left it there. The phone just offers so much convenience, that when I don't have it, I'm just frustrated beyond belief.

Saturday, I left it at Martha's Tea Room in Edwardsville after I had lunch with a good friend. I have looked everywhere for this thing, and I wondered if I had brought it there. My friend, Vivien, didn't remember me having it on me, and frankly, I couldn't remember either. I thought if anything, I left it in her car. But no. It wasn't there...

Before I fight the traffic in St. Louis this morning to my class at work, I will stop by Marthas to pick-up this blasted cell phone. Marthas is only open until 2:30 PM, and I stayed over way too late at work last night to be able to pick it up.

Thank you, Michelle, for letting me know that I had left it there! See, there is no need to poke fun at others... I truly have plenty of material I can use to embarrass myself!

SONG ON MY MIND: I woke up to this, and now it's stuck!

TRAVELING ON - James David Vaughn

The Lord has been so good to me...
I feel like traveling on
He saved my soul, and now I'm free...
And I feel like traveling on

Yes, I feel like traveling on (tra-ve-ling on...)
I feel like traveling on (tra-ve-ling on...)
My Heavenly home is bright and fair...
And I feel like traveling on

Here I am...

2006-09-25T21:07:00.000-05:00

I'm not sure why I allowed myself to get hooked into this blog-making business, however if I am going to do this and if at all possible, I will do my very creative best to embarrass my two handsome young men that I call my children. But wait, that may not be such a good idea after all... my youngest son is good at this blogging business. He may reveal things that shouldn't be revealed. Okay, I'll do my very best to embarrass one of my most favorite persons in the world - Brother Marty. But wait, that might not be such a good idea either. One should never embarrass someone who is in the preaching business. I may get struck by lightning for doing so. I sure can't embarrass my brother or sisters. They know me way too much and embarrass me right back!

What is the point of a blog if you can't embarrass someone? Oh...I see. I'm here to embarrass myself. Okay, I can do the self-depreciating schtick. Laugh and cry along with me as I point fingers at myself (mostly conservative) along with my deserved rants about the liberals in this crazed political climate. BEWARE - Know that I enjoy poking fun at liberals whenever I can!